Everything you learned in 1st grade is wrong.

A theorem:

x = y
(postulate)
x^2 = xy
(multiply both sides by x )
x^2 - y^2 = xy - y^2
(subtract y^2 from both sides )
(x+y) (x-y) = y(x-y)
(simple factoring )
x + y = y
(divide by (x - y) )
y + y = y
(as x = y (given postulate) , substitute)
2y = y
(y + y = 2y )

2 = 1
(divide by y )


2 equals 1.

Enough said.

His and Her Diary Entries in Wisconsin

HER DIARY:
Sunday night I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment. Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but he remained quiet and aloof. I asked him what was wrong - he said, "Nothing." I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry. On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving.
I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say, "I love you, too."
When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV; he seemed distant and vacant. Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed and to my surprise he responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt that his thoughts were somewhere else. I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep.
I started crying and cried until I also fell asleep. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else.

My life is a disaster.

HIS DIARY:
Packers lost today, but at least I got laid.

F@#$%*G Bilbo

In the middle of the earth in the land of the Shire lives a brave little hobbit whom we all admire. With his long wooden pipe, fuzzy, woolly toes, he lives in a hobbit-hole and everybody knows him
Bilbo! Bilbo! Bilbo Baggins He's only three feet tall Bilbo! Bilbo! Bilbo Baggins The bravest little hobbit of them all
Now hobbits are a peace-lovin' folks you know They don't like to hurry and they take things slow They don't like to travel away from home They just want to eat and be left alone But one day Bilbo was asked to go on a big adventure to the caves below, to help some dwarves get back their gold that was stolen by a dragon in the days of old.
Bilbo! Bilbo! Bilbo Baggins He's only three feet tall Bilbo! Bilbo! Bilbo Baggins The bravest little hobbit of them all
Well he fought with the goblins! He battled a troll!! He riddled with Gollum!!! A magic ring he stole!!!! He was chased by wolves!!!!! Lost in the forest!!!!!! Escaped in a barrel from the elf-king's halls!!!!!!!
Bilbo! Bilbo! Bilbo Baggins The bravest little hobbit of them all
Now he's back in his hole in the land of the Shire, that brave little hobbit whom we all admire, just a-sittin' on a treasure of silver and gold a-puffin' on his pipe in his hobbit-hole.
Bilbo! Bilbo! Bilbo Baggins He's only three feet tall Bilbo! Bilbo! Bilbo Baggins The bravest little hobbit of them all